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What did the tree do when the bank was closed?
It started its own branch.
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What do thieves make their weapons from?
Steal.
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Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
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My wife and a hand grenade have one thing in common
Remove the ring and my house is gone
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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