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What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells
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Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Well, your search ends today. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
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What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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