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Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died.
It is, however, a huge weight off my shoulders
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My doctor told me to cut down on my sodium.
But I always take her advice with a grain of salt.
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While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
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A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night
Oof
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Did you hear about the new dating site for retired chemists?
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