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To the person who stole my glasses
I will find you, I have contacts
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A receptionist said to the psychiatrist, "A man is out here who says he is invisible."
The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him right now."
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What days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The other ones are weak days.
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Somebody just gave me a free air guitar
No strings attached.
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My dog is really good at playing fetch
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