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To all the coworkers who have talked about me behind my back:
You discussed me.
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Four years ago today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
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Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
Because he was a paleontologist.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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