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The urge to sing the lion sleeps to night is just
A whim away a whim away a whim away
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, you're an ambulance!
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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