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So, I try to eat healthy
But every time I do, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
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I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
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Which food should you only eat in the bathroom?
Showerkraut
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My friend and his girlfriend have been in a serious relationship for 5 years.
I’ve heard neither of them ever tell a joke.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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