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So, I try to eat healthy
But every time I do, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
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As my dad was walking me down the aisle of my third wedding he goes...
You know Erin, I keep giving you away but they keep giving you back
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What do you call a comedian who can’t remember the punchline
Idk I’m the one who’s asking
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I threw a boomerang a couple years ago and it never came back
Now I live in constant fear
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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