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One time I paid $20 to see Prince in concert
But I partied like it's $19.99
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Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
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Today I launched a book aimed at 9-12 year olds.
I’m proud to say I managed to hit one of the little shits!
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Why do plants hate math?
It gives them square roots
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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