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My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down..
Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
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Why couldn't the computer take his hat off?
Because his caps lock was on.
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A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
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My wife just said that in order for our marriage to work, we both need to make sacrifices.
I’m thinking of choosing a goat.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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