The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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My wife got me an alarm clock out of the blue.

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What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?

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I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,

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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”