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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
"That's a freebie."
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My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she’s in love with me.
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If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
It will be a sadder day.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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