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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
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When I was born I was so surprised,
I didn't talk for a year and a half.
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I changed my iPhone name to Titanic.
It’s syncing now.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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