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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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my wife asked me why i type everything in lower case.
i said i stopped giving a shift.
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My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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2
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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