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My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
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Someone once told me they loved absolutely all kinds of bedding.
It was a real blanket statement.
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When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”... “Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
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What did the spaghetti sauce say to the meat balls?
PASTA laVista BABY
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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