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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
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A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep." The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep."
The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."
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Why did the newspaper blush?
Because he saw the comic strip.
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This morning I saw the milkman drinking a sip of milk before leaving it in front of my door.
How dairy?!?!
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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