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My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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What's brown, wrinkled, and lives in a tower?
The Lunch Bag of Notre Dame.
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What does Dr. Jekyll do first thing every morning?
He wakes up.
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As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
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