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My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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A new study found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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Father: I know what's causing your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.
Kid: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.
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There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local IKEA.
The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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