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My dad always told me there were two rules to be successful in any business.
First, never tell anyone everything you know
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I've started investing in stocks...
Mostly beef, chicken, and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
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My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".
So I'm wearing his, because good dads listen.
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Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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