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My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.' I asked, 'Which is?'
'Exactly', he replied.
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You should send a picture of your ex to NASA.
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I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
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I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers.
I nearly fell out of my tree.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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