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Me: this is my house
Friend: what's upstairs Me: stairs don't talk
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Did you know the film “Speed” had no director?
If it had direction, it would be called “Velocity”.
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Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
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I feel bad for the guy laughing in the operating room
He is in stitches as we speak.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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