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Marriage is like a card game.
At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.
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If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion
They would call it crucifact.
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Refusing to go to the gym
counts as resistance training.
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Your dad is in prison and he has a stutter.
He's never going to finish his sentence.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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