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Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the tv.
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How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it
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Two atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!" The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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What did the big bucket say to the small bucket?
"You're looking a little pail!"
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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