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Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Rings.
Guess I was Tolkien in my sleep.
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What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
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I hired a landscape gardener...
But he said he couldn’t help as my garden was portrait.
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Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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