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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Justice is a dish best served cold,
if it were served warm it would be justwater.
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I once made a belt out of watches
But it was just a waist of time.
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My daughter is smarter than Abraham Lincoln. She can recite the Gettysburg Address, and she's only nine years old.
Lincoln didn't say it until he was 50!
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My son was crying today because he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies.
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.
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An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?
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