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In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry...
Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.
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My Sister Bet Me $15 I Couldn't Build a Car Out Of Spaghetti
You should of seen her face as I drove pasta.
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Why do dogs float in water?
Because they are good buoys.
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My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.
He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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