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If you’ve heard of Murphy’s law, which is that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, then have you heard of Cole’s law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage
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Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?
They don’t like steak.
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My son was crying today because he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies.
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.
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I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
She said “urinate”
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My dog is really good at playing fetch
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