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If you’ve heard of Murphy’s law, which is that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, then have you heard of Cole’s law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia
She whispered, "They're right behind you"
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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
He was too far out, man.
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I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
She said “urinate”
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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