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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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Do you wanna know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin
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Why did the Mexican take some Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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