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I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.
I told her next time she can pick the restaurant, if she really hated Subway that much.
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After a heated argument, my kid shouted “Jim Morrison was overrated”
What did I say about slamming The Doors?
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The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”
Now I can’t open the oven, as the door faces the wall.
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My wife told me, "You're a better husband than I'll ever be."
I responded, "Who the hell is Oliver B.??"
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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