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I thought orthopedic shoes were overrated.
Now I stand corrected.
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My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
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My friend gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital
Her husband named the kid Carson
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Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.
That was the punchline.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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