The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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I shot my enemy with a paintball gun

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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

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My son thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”