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I only believe in 12.5% of the bible
I'm an eighth theist
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I won an award for being the best scarecrow in my field.
I told them, "Hay, it's in my jeans."
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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Kid: There's something in my shoe?
Dad: It's your foot.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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