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I had a racing snail...
To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose
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My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers.
In all honesty, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
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Want to wake up with a smile on your face?
Go to sleep with a clothes hanger in your mouth.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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