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I couldn't figure out how to use the seatbelt
Then it just clicked
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I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "
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The only decisions bar tenders make...
are pour decisions
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Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
They’d crack each other up!
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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