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I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bread.
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
..an ether/oar situation...
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
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Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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