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I can't believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting around doing nothing.
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My dad bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.
I couldn't find the words to thank him.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
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Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job,
now he’s just a handyman.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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