The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor.

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A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?"

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I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me the first letter to deliver.

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I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?