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I bought a pen that can write underwater
... it can write other words as well.
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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
She said “urinate”
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My dad burst into my room and said, “Wanna hear a joke?”, and then proceeded to fart for a whole minute.
He said. “Sorry. That was a long winded story.”
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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