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Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
Everybody laughed when we woke up again.
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I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”
I said “Not likely, I mean what are the odds of two of them being in the same car?”
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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, you're an ambulance!
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What did the musician say on commercial break?
Stay tuned
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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