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Grandpa: Don't come in here honey, I just passed a silent one.
Grandma: You need a new battery for your hearing aid.
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Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.
That was the punchline.
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What do you call a famous Roman leader who suffered from epilepsy?
Julius Seizure.
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My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.
Especially because his name’s Steve.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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