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Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.
It was open Mike night.
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Kids: So, how are you liking your cell phone? Kid: Mom? Kid: Why aren't you answering?
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He shouts, “A beer please! And one for the road!”
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Why can't a lactose intolerant dyslexic man keep a diary?
Because he's allergic.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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