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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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England doesn't have a kidney bank.
But it does have a Liverpool.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
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The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
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An apple, a banana, and an orange were on the high dive. Only the banana wouldn't jump. Why?
Because it was yellow.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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