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Doctor: I'm afraid your DNA is backwards, sir.
Me: AND?
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
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What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work!
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Highway cop. Highway cop who?
Highway cop in the morning and have a cup of coffee.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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