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Did you know that spiders make excellent baseball players?
They know how to catch flies!
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The doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body.
Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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How do you get your toilet so clean?
I scrub the shit out of it.
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Just found out that Aaaargghhh is not a real word.
Can’t tell you how angry I am at this.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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