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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
I don't know. I'm still paying for it.
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Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.
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My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
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Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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