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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Being a cardiac surgeon...
Would be a heart wrenching experience.
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I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor.
I have shellfish steamed issues.
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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Thank you, student loan, for helping me through college
I don't think I can ever repay you.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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