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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
..an ether/oar situation...
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I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep.
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I won an award for being the best scarecrow in my field.
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
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