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At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...
But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins!
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Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Well, your search ends today. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
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Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?
It's called carbon dating.
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What has two legs and flies?
Mike Pence.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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