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A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy.
But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.
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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.
We went out for drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.
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My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
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I always knock when I open the fridge
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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