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I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
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What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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I had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it.
Now I have a bitcoin.
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I dated a twin once...
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