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I think my wife is leaving me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.
Oh well, hind sight is 1.
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What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
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What kind of murder has fiber?
A Cereal Killer
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Waiter: “How’s your chicken?”
Dad: “Not good. I think it might be dead.”
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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