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I married my wife for her looks
Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
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My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
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Where does a general keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
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My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
She needs to lighten up.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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