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I keep trying to lose weight,
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Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
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I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.
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"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."

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